March 2010
I'm Not Classical...
I’m realizing this in increasing increments. This makes sense because that’s the facade muturity hides within.
I’m not a classic anything. Sometimes it feels good to affiliate with something, just so you know what’s next, what your moves are and the what the diaphanous parameters of these moves are. It lets you know you know what accepted and expected. Otherwise...
Dream, 3.26.10
Okay so I just had a dream on acccident. It consisted of my friend Jess and I sneaking into this really prestigious catholic college, and of all things we were sneaking in on some huge welcome day or even of that kind. We were in a line for a while, I think to volunteer as tour guides, and for some reason the instructor lady really really liked us. Jess told her we were exchange students,...
The Hanky Code! →
I thought this was a joke for the longest time and then someone told me it wasn’t and I’m feeling a mix of horror and intrigue, but mostly horror.
Thoughts and Feelings
Sometimes I worry that people don’t think about other people as much as I think about other people. I don’t mean that I critizise or judge or even have concern. I just think about people a lot. I think about how they think. I wonder about all that a lot.
Occasionally I wonder if a person thinks about me as much as I think about them, but it’s pure wonderment and not laced with...
Formspring Question of the day 3.22.2010
Formspring: if you could be one Disney Character who would it be?
Me: Ursula! She has that awesome bird bath of magic, and a great figure to boot! Plus the prospect of harvesting the beautiful voices of others within a shell and then manipulating their loved ones is slightly appealing.
3.22.2010
Evidently rollerblading is good for your butt. I mean I’ve always known this but at this point I can’t really sit down without the ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhh’ associated with an elderly person.
Also, I’ve got to stop doing Aerobic Excersizes because it’s causing me to thin out (further) which we just can’t have. I’m going to be weighed for my...
Dining Hall Banter
Ryan: [Approaches with a bowl of fruit]
Michelle: Please don't throw any of that down my shirt
Oh my LORD: Gaga is mind controlling the masses? →
This guys stuff is seriously hysterical. It’s all about how Gaga is a mind controlled drone working for the ‘Illuminati’ in their mind control schemes over pop culture and america. He ‘dissects’ the Telephone music video, and by dissect I mean he projects his warped views of culture and art and gaga onto the video, rubbing his delusions into every crack and seam the...
Hair
So here’s what I’m going to do with the rest of my day:
Laundry, done in a few minutes>to be put in dryer
Gym for 1.5 hrs.
Back by 5:45, potentially cutting hair. Then showering.
So by now it’s around the 6:15 time of night. I should be thinking about dinner and I know I have rehearsal starting around 9 until 11.
That gives me less than three hours to: Eat dinner, do my...
Naps
Naps never work out for me. I’ve had one or two successful naps that I prize but I suspect they’ve ruined the rest. It’s all because I never have time for napping, and I think about it instead, and then suddenly I DO have time for napping.
And it’s so rare that I have time to nap so I get all excited and throw off all my clothing and get into bed and then I’m stuck...
“Now I want you over here looking hot and avoidable”
– Nicky D, stage directing
emptynoise-deactivated20120629 asked: this isn't a question, but happy birthday!
Hetz has a dream for me
Hetz: You should be a tattoo artists.
Ryan: Why?
Hetz: Because you could hurt people while being creative.
Ryan: Well happy birthday to me!
Tomorrow is my Birthday(?)
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’m not into it. I usually get just a little excited for my birthday but the months leading up the March 15th have been so busy and I’ve been so occupied that I just haven’t thought an inch about it. I haven’t though of festivities or even a good outfit. It’s really astounding in a gray way; gray as in neither bad nor good, just sort of a...
“Using the bathroom in Ivy is like playing Bop-It. Flush it!…Unlock it!…Open...”
– Me! (via vermilionaire)
“Her whole head is hideous. Every part of it.”
– Caroline Malouse
The Sunday Morning Heart
My heart was beating so fast I found myself in a slight and mellow rocking motion on my bed. I must have been doing it for a while because the things around me on the bed had syncopated with my own rocking.
Every time I notice my heartbeat, it flees. It’s very evanescent. It’s also my fault; I strain to feel it and I have the preconceived lie in my head that it’s a fragile...
“You’re a parade.”
– Ryan La Sala (via vermilionaire)
Today
Here is today’s schedule:
Go to eat something some where probably alone and read while doing it. And I’ve got to be light about it because next I am…
Going to the gym! For as long as I want. Usually I have some sort of time constraint that makes me leave early or cut lifting weights short but NOT TODAY JUNIOR!
And then it’s back to my room to begin studying for my...
“I’m walking on sunshine, and don’t it feel good?”
– Song
A thought
ryanhetz:
If Lady Gaga put half the time or money she spent on being purposefully weird into things like alternative energy or world hunger….
…then she would go bankrupt and render her whole operation inert! She didn’t get what she has via benevolence.
Romance
I’m increasingly intrigued by the idea of romance. More and more I’m finding myself watching couples and paying rapt attention to their interactions and exchanges. It’s not a creepy obsession or even really a longing. It’s not even a jealous interest. The best way I can put it is like a person, who has generally been unaware and therefore impartial to flying kites, watching...
Fag Hag
I’m not sure who decided this was a great buzz term but I’m AM sure that it has adhered to the gay community with a ferocity rivaled only by peanut butter in a dried mouth. And it’s equally as unpleasant.
First of all, the term fag is simply terrible. I get that it’s empowering to manipulate a traditionally derogattory insult into a term of endearment, but it’s also...
“In prison cell, in dungeon vile, our thoughts to them are winging. When love is...”
– How Can I Keep From Singing (lyric)
“One time I accidentally sun burnt the words “WHITE POWER” onto my...”
– Melinda Eller
Tumblr Challenge: Day 7-A picture that makes you...
ryanhetz:
Nothing on earth could make me happier.
I can’t reblog this enough, I feel
Caroline and Ryan on Culottes
Caroline: He's just a negative accessory. a nonaccessory.
Ryan: HAHA like an anti-accessory? Like he detracts from the others?
Caroline: Yeah like wearing culottes or something.
Ryan: Google images won't tell me what culottes are
Caroline: Have you seen Ferris Bueller's day off? Sloane wears culottes throughout the movie. Long voluminous shorts.
Ryan: Haha nope. They're like baggy shorts?
Caroline: But structured. Like Bermuda shorts. But with pleats! PLEATS!
Ryan: I like pleats, even though their niche has completely dissolved with the new century
Caroline: Culottes are really just a dark spot in history
Ryan: Probably the bubonic plague's fashionable turn-around
Caroline: Pleats are excellent. Pleated pants are questionable.
Brock Harris
Brock Harris, if you’re reading this then I’m wondering why you have this kind of time/interest. Anyhow, just a fan.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a cliche when it came to guys. To be honest I think all kinds of guys are hot or attractive or cute, but the shaker to my otherwise steadfast willpower will always be guys that look like this. Sure, the bright colors help, and...
It really could be worse... →
This will always perk me up. Especially the page about page boys.
Neuroscience vs. Happiness/I'm being Hyperbolic.
So for the past hour I’ve just been redundant. This whole year has consisted of a single internal debate spread across many minutes of conversations and with a varied group of people. I usually say the same things and get some interesting points by listeners but I have yet to make any real decisions about the debate. Latley, though, I’ve felt a lot of pressure and it has all been...
Text Message Hall Of Fame
I’ve decided to start a text message hall of fame. It’s not going to be prestigious or anything like that. It’s mostly being initiated because I had to delete all my messages on my old phone and I had around 25 hilarious ones that I had kept saved. I put them all into a word document and I’m going to keep it updated because it makes me laugh.
I’ll also post some of...
“moss I Mean oops. gmw wap wmtp daw How was your day”
– Sailor Nichols (text message)
Caroline and Ryan on the OL suspense
Caroline: What if they don't tell us until tonight?
Ryan: Then the oxidative damage caused by stress may be too much to salvage my heart and other vital organs.
Caroline: RYAN JUST CALLED ME OMG I HAVE TO CHECK OMG BUT IM IN CLASS
Caroline: WHY DID HE CALL ME HEART iS POUNDING AND IM TREMBLING.
Bus to Boston
This morning I awoke in Miami. This afternoon I lunched in West Hartford. Tonight I will lay down in Boston. Three of my favorite places, all in one day? I feel like I might be punched because I’ve had the luck of it. You know, just to even things out.
I miss the sunlight of Miami. It wasn’t especially warm, I know, but at least the sunlight was dazzling and pigmented the world with...
Branden Lee vs. Ryan; behind the scenes throwdown
Ryan: Concerning formspring: sorry for posting that on facebook. It does it automatically. It was my intention to embarrass you on this specific social forum.
I suggest if you have words, say them in private to me.
Branden Lee: Well I just wanted to inform you that I don't get embarassed, so any effort for you to embarass me is useless.
But by asking you that question, I wasn't out to get you. I just really wanted to know if, or mainly why or how, I made you so angry that you had to vent your anger at something that I've done to the world via facebook. I'm just not really a person to share my negative feelings toward someone via my facebook status, and I was just wondering why you randomly seemed to dislike me so much. Since we've never really interacted. But if I did make you angry then job well done.
I'm also glad that I am able to disgust you and the masses. I like to have an effect on people.
I do not feel that I'm slandering the homosexual community, but if I am, oh well. I can't do anything about the interpretations of my actions, nor do I plan to.
And I asked you the question via formspring, becaue formspring is all about asking questions, and I felt that facebook would have been too much of a public forum.
Ryan: Yeah, as I said I agree with you about the facebook thing. I didn't mean to make it a public arena which is exactly why I sent you this message in the first place. Also, don't chalk this up to an effort at humiliation. I know you're too dense for that tactic.
You are insufferable selfish, the enormity of your narcissism is baffling. Normally I'd say that you are entitled to your individuality, but when you desecrate a communities fervent efforts for justice then you really don't deserve anything remotely human. You are harming innocent people and you could not care less. That is what makes you a monster and that's why you will never amount to anything worthwhile.
I don't want to be mean to you Branden. Unless you change, the world is going to inevitably hate you and be meaner to you than I could ever even attempt. Either you'll start to hate yourself or you already do hate yourself.
So get well soon Branden Lee. Realize how much influence you have on the perceptions of ignorant people and abolish the mass of vanity that is preventing you from ever having respectability.
Branden Lee:
Monster? Really? Thank you. I sincerely take that as a compliment! Thank you for your indirect praise.
I actually take your assessment that I have so much influence over the image of the gay community, as empowering. It's true that I may be harming innocent people, and I honestly don't care.
I have no intention to change, so don't count on it.
But to you all I can say is, if there is such a monster targeting and destroying the gay community, the it's important to fight against it.
So keep up the good fight. I do admire your wanting to project a positive image for the gay community and improve it, for lack of a better phrase.
So although I may not seem like it. I do care about the gay community and only want things to get better. It's rare to find gays that actually care about gay issues and are involved with the gay community, and I'm glad that you care.
So fight against the monster, even if it's me.
Ryan:
Look I hope you know you're displaying signs of a sociopath. That may seem glamorous to you since you're really stupid and demented in your reasoning but it's sort of a serious disorder and can lead to some deplorable things.
(Hopefully) the last thing I will say now is that I hope you'll come to terms with your apparent insanity and grow out of this husk of a human being you call 'me!' You're not smart so I don't expect any of this to make sense but at least one day you'll have some substance to constitute your character and at that point you'll realize the favors people have been doing for you in spite of the crimes you've committed against them. It's called mercy and you are the last person to deserve it
Branden: I'm fully aware of what a sociopath is, despite how stupid you think I am. I have no idea why you contantly attack my intelligence, you don't know me. We've never even had a real conversation. Yet you think you can analyze me and you know me inside and out.
I'm a very self aware person.
“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”
– Confucius (via kitncaboodle) 